Not looking good...

So he read it, sitting in the front seat of the Tahoe on the way to our OB appointment. He hasn't said a word to me about it...however my aunt was with us at the doc appointment, then we came home, and he got in the shower and had to leave to pick Mackenzie and Andrew up from school. I poured my heart and soul into this man, especially for the past month and a half and this is what I get in return. Now I know what I've done is awful but don't you think that with me trying so hard that it says something. Apparently my thoughts and feelings don't matter to him. If that's the case then I need to move on for good. There is no looking back. He has until the end of the nite to talk to me about things or I'm going to start moving on. It will be hard! I love this man so much that it hurts. The thought of losing him makes it hard to eat and sleep. I stay up until all hours of the nite waiting for him to come home from work. Then I get up with the kids in the mornings so he can get some sleep. He also asked me if I would pick up Mackenzie for him after school tomorrow. So he can talk and be nice to me when he wants something. I'm starting to feel used. I really want to tell him that I can't and come up with some lame excuse but I guess I'll just have to be honest with him and say I won't do it. I shouldn't because of how cold he's been towards me the last month and a half. I hope that letter at least got him thinking, but if that were the case he should have said he was thinking and needed some time before talking. *Sigh* I believe that I have lost my husband for good, but I'm glad to know this now so that I can move on. I need to focus on my children, my house, and the baby I'm carrying. I guess there's no time like the present to carry on. The tears will come later after the shock of him being done wears off. Let's just hope I can keep myself out of a low while I'm learning to cope without him. This just kills me, but I know I did everything I could to save us. He's the one who's giving up too soon, not me. I hope he can live with this decision for the rest of his life. Well I guess the only place to go from here is up...atleast I won't be living in limbo anymore. I just feel like I'm walking on egg shells around him to give him his space. If space is what he truly wants, then space is what he is going to get. All hope is gone. I tried my very best. I know I realized things, apparently, a little too late and really the only person I can blame for that is myself. But I did everything I could to get him to stay and he just isn't having it. Well here's to the rest of my life. I'm going to work on cleaning, maybe it will act as therapy for me. Here comes the depression already...Sigh...